The Golden Schnoz Award!!

This award has not been given for an impending rhinoplasty, but rather for Alistair’s nose leading the way for his weekend. From the disturbing smells of the open bar on the drive down, to the nasal fire detectant as to whether not enough or too much wood had been applied, to the character judgements of various liquid mixes pre intake, Alistair allowed his nose to take the lead and give his brain the weekend off.

This approach paid dividends too, as on the drive back these keen nasal passages detected the faint whiff of whiskey. While most put it down to the remnants of an open bar on the drive down, and Charlie’s pores expunging a weekend’s excess, the golden schnoz knew better and pulled up man wagon for further inspection. One again vindicated, with a bottle having tipped and a grand 10ml of whiskey finding its way to the outside of he bottle.

We applaud the golden schnoz. May it never be trapped in an elevator full of flatulent men on high protein diets.

He may be Irish, but don’t let that convince you that he is naive to the fine shores of Australia. Having recently pledged allegiance he is now a fair dinkum, strewth mate hasn’t Sheila got a great set of knockers, hey mate can you play Khe San, throw another shrimp on the fuckin barbie cause I love that shit, true blue Aussie.

With an IT career spanning cow herding (seriously), Macquarie Bank and Telco giants, be warned to tread warily into conversations involving gadgets, or any device shiny. But fear not, for always forthright with an ale, robust in values and fluent in gobshite, this groomsman adds the cosmopolitan flair, European distinction and metrosexual confusion to the tour!